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      当前位置:主页 > 搞笑说说 >

      爆笑的说说:为了将来我的孩纸不输在起跑线上,我现在就给他挂Q

      类别: | 来自: | 发布时间:2015-08-11 | 人气值:
        1.月老,能别再用劣质的红线帮我牵线了吗,尼玛,隔三差五就断。
        
        2.流量强奸了话费,生下了一个孽种叫停机。
        
        3.小时候,我最喜欢玩捉迷藏,等别人藏好了,我就回家吃饭。
        
        4.你现在不喜欢我没关系,以后我让我儿子泡你女儿!
        
        5.如果多吃鱼可以补脑让人变聪明的话,那么我至少得吃一对儿鲸鱼。
        
        6.你若安好,便是晴天,按这天气看来,你应该是挂了。
        
        7.一个人去医院看医生,医生让其躺下用手按压他腹部,问他:“你有什么感觉?”“我感觉有人在按我的肚子”。。。
        
        8.爱情是路,朋友是猪,人身只有一条路,路上却有许多猪。
        
        9.我决定了,正月十五早上卖汤圆,中午卖玫瑰,晚上卖电影票,深夜卖避孕套,第二天早上卖避孕药,想想都好激动,我这是要发了的节奏阿!
        
        10.韩国整容,泰国人妖,其实都比不过中国的美图秀秀。
        
        11.下辈子做只考拉,每天睡觉20个小时,吃2个小时,发呆2个小时,这才是完美人生啊!
        
        12.穿别人的鞋走别人的路,让别人既找不到鞋又找不到路。
        
        13.横溢的不只是才华,还有腰间的脂肪。
        
        14.地球熄灯一小时一点都不节约,熄灯一小时可以造出多少人来啊。
        
        15.年前把“过完年再说吧”当做口头禅的人,年后都换成了“再说吧,这才刚过完年呢”。
        
        16.暑假作业我已经摊在阳台上了,台风你自己看着办吧。
        
        17.在家的时候发烧还会坚持上网,上学的时候打个喷嚏都会觉得是癌症晚期。
        
        18.做一个徘徊在牛A和牛C之间的人。
        
        19.和现任女友拍亲密照上传空间,取名:配不?前女友第一回复:呸!……
        
        20.发呆这事做得好是深沉,做不好就睡着了。。。
        
        21.室友放了个断断续续的屁,另一哥们无奈的说:“好好一个响屁,让你崩个稀碎”
        
        22.为了将来我的孩纸不输在起跑线上,我现在就给他挂Q。
        
        23.人的桃花运,跟生理周期一样,都是一阵一阵的。
        
        24.怀孕少女的心理活动:我妈会杀了我的!胎儿的心理活动:我妈会杀了我的!
        
        25.最有魄力的是康师傅,每天都有成千上万的人泡他。
        
        26.你对你爸爸说你饿了,爸爸会说:“走,爸爸带你下馆子”;你对你妈妈说你饿了,妈妈会说:“想吃什么,妈妈给你做”;你对男朋友说你饿了,男朋友会说:“想吃什么,我去买”;而你对女朋友说你饿了,女朋友往往会说:“我也是”
      辽宁11选5app
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