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      当前位置:主页 > 搞笑说说 >

      笑死人的QQ说说:身高这种东西,大家都一米多,有什么好问的

      类别: | 来自: | 发布时间:2015-08-11 | 人气值:
        1.我感觉现在我不是在上学,而是学在上我,简单粗暴,还不带套!
        
        2.所谓睡货,可用八个字概括:春困,夏乏,秋盹,冬眠。
        
        3.找呀找呀找朋友,找到一个男朋友,亲亲嘴,拉拉手,晚上生个小朋友。
        
        4.下次再也不敢坐女司机的车了,老子还是第一次碰见要撞车了不踩刹车而是捂双眼的司机。
        
        5.说起中国女子跳水最好的双人搭档,当然是婆婆和媳妇了,她们经常能同时落水。
        
        6.老师,你就别费心给我换同桌了,因为我跟谁都聊得来。
        
        7.“你的X片显示你肋骨断裂。”“那怎么办啊医生?”“没事,我已经用美图秀秀帮你修好了。”
        
        8.那些天天喊着要瘦成一道闪电的姑娘,你们知道闪电直径有5米吗?
        
        9.世界上最互相信任的两个人就是高中老师和初中老师,初中老师:“这个知识点到了高中,高中老师会讲的”初中老师:“这个知识点,你们初中老师应该已经讲过了”
        
        10.直到停电那一刻,我才知道自己最爱的是谁,原来是wifi啊。
        
        11.身高这种东西,大家都一米多,有什么好问的。
        
        12.什么叫寂寞?就是五十块的话费你居然用了三个月还没用完,最后硬是让月租给扣完了。
        
        13.“新时代的雷锋精神是什么?”“分享wifi密码!”
        
        14.数学的力量是什么?,抄完答案看不懂!语文的力量是什么?看完答案不想抄!
        
        15.谁把我当备胎,我就让谁爆胎!
        
        16.我听过最毒舌的一句话:我的眼睛比你的胸还大!
        
        17.“因为我怕黑!所以我从小学习成绩就不好!”“和怕黑有什么关系?”“因为不敢看黑板”
        
        18.如果你身边的同学或朋友说你长得丑,你千万别难过,因为人的审美观是不同的,有些人觉得你不好看,肯定也会有一些人觉得你是个帅哥,比如服装店促销员,超市促销员和路上的推销员。
        
        19.男给女发短信:“如果我长的吓人你还喜欢我吗?”女回复:“这要看长字怎么读了”。
        
        20.以前考六十分,就跟死了爹一样;现在考六十分,就跟当了爷一样。
        
        21.早上陪妹妹去小吃部吃包子,服务员端上来之后,这娃从兜里掏出一根银针扎了一下,银针前端变黑了,惊呼:“包子有毒,是谁要害本宫”,满屋食客瞬间鸦雀无声,这时老板淡定的走上前,啪一嘴巴子,“特么这是豆沙包,不吃滚犊子………”
        
        22.我才不和你说晚安,我要和你躺一张床上。
        
        23.“父母为了阻止你早恋,都采用过哪些丧尽天良的办法?”“给了我这张脸。。。”
        
        24.可能是单身久了,前几天看见一头母猪我都觉得它眉清目秀的。
        
        25.如果你在网上搜索“怎么样去和女孩子表白”搜索结果是60多万条,这60多万条里总有一条能适合你的。好的到这里我们停一下,反过来搜索“拒绝男孩子的表白”项目是300多万条,也就是说你表白一次就有5种方法对付你。
        
        26.吓死我了,打雷就打雷,闪毛电,老子在洗澡,还以为有人在帮我拍照。
        
        27.如果让我再次遇见你,我一定吧你拉入卧室,疯狂的把你按倒在床上,用被子蒙住我俩的头告诉你我的手表是夜光的。
      辽宁11选5app
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