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      当前位置:主页 > 搞笑说说 >

      萌萌哒的说说:我的钱包就像个洋葱,每次打开都叫我泪流满面

      类别: | 来自: | 发布时间:2015-08-11 | 人气值:
        1.明明是学渣系统非要开启学霸模式,不仅耗电,还特别卡。
        
        2.减肥没有那么容易,每块肉都有它的脾气。
        
        3.诸葛亮出山前也没带过兵啊,你们凭啥要我有工作经验!
        
        4.孩子学习不好,被妈妈痛骂,挨骂后,儿子用哀怨的眼神看着爸爸说:你为什么要娶她?爸爸也用哀怨的眼神说:还不是因为你!
        
        5.别人吃两口就饱了,我是吃饱了还能吃两口。
        
        6.“有一种人他不喜欢你,还不让你喜欢别人”“你说的是班主任吗?”
        
        7.如果作业可以复制、粘贴,那该有多好啊~
        
        8.开学不久,在外语学院的一个朋友跟我说很多专业都是男少女多,她们班极惨,就俩男的。。。。。更惨的是,那俩男的好上了……
        
        9.某同学的简历获奖情况栏写着:在校期间荣获“再来一瓶”多次。
        
        10.“你知道什么叫土豆丝嘛?”“就是把土豆切成丝啊!”“那你知道什么是屌丝么?”“……”
        
        11.开卷和闭卷的不同就在于,一个在上面抄,一个在下面抄。
        
        12.在家的时候发烧还会坚持上网,上学的时候打个喷嚏都会觉得是癌症晚期。
        
        13.我只喜欢2个花,有钱花和随便花。
        
        14.有人地理好,有人物理好,有人历史好,有人数学好,有人语文好,有人英语好,有人化学好;而我,心态好。
        
        15.对牛弹琴不算什么能耐,对牛谈情才叫真本事。
        
        16.“考试之前去医院不吉利。”“为什么?”“上来就问:‘你挂什么科?’”
        
        17.生活就像忐忑,没有准确的歌词,却惊心动魄。
        
        18.父亲给儿子讲故事:从前有一只青蛙…儿子:有科幻故事吗?父亲:从前在太空里有一只青蛙…儿子:有限制级的吗?父亲:嘘~小声点,别让你妈听见。从前有一只没穿衣服的青蛙…
        
        19.我会胖的原因是许多事放在心里,不好瘦。
        
        20.“你擦屁股用左手还是右手”“右手”“好恶心哟我都是用纸的呢”
        
        21.我的钱包就像个洋葱,每次打开都叫我泪流满面。
        
        22.宠物食品公司作市场调查,接电话的是一个小孩。调查员:你家有没有养小狗小猫或者小兔?小孩:没有,我妈就生了我一个!
        
        23.女:对于性你有什么看法?男:看法是没有,做法倒是很多。
        
        24.上课玩手机怎样才能让同桌死心塌地的给你看着老师?玩同桌的手机!
        
        25.都说女人是一本书,菇凉,看您这身材,应该是合订本吧……
        
        26.“蛇的交配时间长达12个小时,对此你有什么看法?”“许仙真厉害”
        
        27.工作QQ,谢绝闲聊,若要强聊,每字伍毛;标点符号,半价收费,千字以上,八折优惠;表情图片,十块包月,语音视频,暂未开通;先款后聊,款到即聊,在线支付,提供发票;免付月租,单项收费,节假双休,照常营业;诚征代理。

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